A Simple Guide for Good Virtual Love

Are you contemplating the idea of expanding your social circle through the internet? Do you have no time to meet real people, but you have decided to have more friends? Is your soul mate still lost? Have you been thinking about going to social networks to find the love of your life? Have you ventured into the online world to find a partner, but you have not decided on the second step? Or have you decided to take that next step, and now are the victim of the worst online abuse? These and more questions arise when adults decide to venture into new social networks and make two big mistakes: believing that they know everything and feeling ashamed to ask for help.

In the present globalized world, we have shortened physical distances through technology. Yet despite all the time that technology can save, our activities and routines somehow take more time. This leaves many individuals with the only option of interacting through an electronic device.

Technology has many beneficial purposes, but it has been criticized for causing great disruption in our lives. However, ultimately the individual user is responsible for the consequences of their digital actions. 

Seeking the love of our lives is a titanic task that involves time, economic resources, and passion. Technology and social networks can be allies to select and find who will be with us for a while. However, there are also dangers associated with technology. Due to the ability to hide behind a screen, a perpetrator can patiently wait to catch the next victim in his/her network of lies and useless emotions.

Here are some recommendations that I have been collecting in my research on social network fraud and especially romance fraud. The result of these investigations concluded that this type of fraud is a mental abuse with devastating economic and emotional consequences. This type of fraud is not a myth that only happens to naive individuals; anyone can be the next victim.

Unless you want to belong to the group of the most infamous extorted stars, do not risk your reputation. Never allow recordings of any type, and never accept virtual sexual proposals. The recordings of virtual intimate relationships are the main basis for blackmail or extortion. Do not trust any invitation where you must show your private parts.

One mistake that can be made is only engaging in textual conversations. Texts make it easy for imposters to remain anonymous. To avoid this danger, always talk through video and analyze how the person interacts in his / her environment. Ask the person for specific details to ensure that this is a live interaction and not a pre-recording. Be in control of the time and method of interaction. Perpetrators often make excuses about the difficulty in accessing video communications or only being able to talk at a pre-determined time. You should have the possibility of contacting the person at any time you require by different ways. 

Never give personal information about your family, friends, and people close to you. Listen very closely to what the other person is talking and writing. Write down all the details and follow up to look for inconsistencies. The perpetrator usually has the same speech, so asking for different details can help identify the validity of a person.

In the first conversations, make it clear that you know about the different fraud schemes in virtual relationships. Additionally, express you have no intention to offer gifts, send money, or manage any type of travel arrangements. The perpetrator will know from the beginning that he/she is wasting time and will abandon the conversation and the relationship soon. Avoid keeping the relationship isolated from your family or any group of friends because the perpetrator will ask for total secrecy and confidentiality in the new relationship. Telling your family about the new virtual relationship and keeping them informed about its progress will also provide an additional perspective to notice suspicious activity. 

If the person decides to travel to meet you, let him/her know about all measures of protection and care. Do not be involved in the purchase of airline tickets and hotel reservation. The perpetrator will try to take advantage of your excitement and coerce you into finding the economic resources for your early encounter. Do not send money or information about your residence and work place.

If you want to travel to meet the person, pick a place where you can speak your language, ask someone from your friends or family to go with you, and make vacation plans that go beyond the meet-up. Do not share rooms with whom you will meet, and if it is possible, stay at a different hotel. In case the perpetrator does not decide to attend the appointment, you will enjoy a well-deserved rest.

Fall in love very slowly and demonstrate your emotional intelligence by managing the virtual relationship. Your personality and good mental health are the first qualities that must be wielded in a virtual relationship. A perpetrator seeks victims with emotional problems, socially and psychologically abandoned, who require compliments and care. Be cautious of messages of deep love and passion that occur after only a few days or weeks.           

To help determine if you are talking to someone who is real, or an imposter disguised as subtle romantic details and beautiful photographic poses, seek out personal information. From the beginning, ask for their full name, birthday, and details that can refine an investigation into the identity of the person. A responsible professional will not judge you for cautiously entering into a virtual relationship and will provide you with information to take the next step.

I hope the above information help you to prevent and detect fraud in your personal life. I wish you the best of luck in finding genuine online relationships, and if in the worst case, it requires an investigation, as a professional in fraud issues I would be available to help.

Edited by Christopher Bonk